So I’m guessing my body after pregnancy would only make sense if you knew about my body before pregnancy, right? So here it goes, I’ve always been a curvy size 12 who, if you had asked me back then, if I was body confident? I’d say of course I am. But looking back now I know I wasn’t. I tended to wear comfy clothes (and by this I mean clothes that were just too big for me and never showed my figure) I always had my own insecurities about my lumps and bumps – I mean what women doesn’t right? but they were minimal compared to now.
If I only knew then, what I know now, I would have appreciated my figure even more then. During the pregnancy I was not fussed about the weight gain at all – I mean growing a baby inside of you is of course going to make you put on weight. In January 2015 when I was 2mnths pregnancy I weighed 71kg. After this I didn’t bother weighing myself. I enjoyed my pregnancy bump. (Slightly weird that some of my pre-pregnancy clothes fitted me during the pregnancy) The love handles that I once had were no longer there as my stomach was stretching this out nicely. One of my fears were stretchmarks – I just didn’t want them. I invested heavily in bio-oil and put this on from boobs to thighs at least three times a day. No matter how many mums want to try and convince themselves that ‘their tiger strips ar to be proud of’ and that they don’t bother them blah blah blah, I didn’t want to find out for myself what life would be like living with tiger marks.
I was desperate during pregnancy to get back to running and sweating so hard that I felt like I had just had a shower. But didn’t realistically think about how my body was going to handle it and everything else that comes with after birth.
I wasn’t prepared for what my body went through during the first week. I’ll do a separate blog to explain this in detail as I wish someone prepared me for it.
Once I got over the initial shock of child birth. 3wks postpartum and back down to 71kg, I started running again. That run felt so good I cant explain. But I did keep thinking with every stride that things were going to fall out of me so soon after having a baby haha. I’ll admit I was pretty rubbish. The first run was about 1.5km but that was enough. Enough to work up a sweat and feel proud for doing it. I cant lie – everything was wobbling so much I felt horrible, obese and extremely unhealthy. Running felt like I was a nappy wearing fatty just bouncing from one foot to another., with my bum, boobs and thighs wobbling everywhere uncontrollably. And not to mention my boobs! Gosh. Huge watermelons sqaushed into a sports bra whilst leaking! Sexy right?!
Once we got over Kobi’s allergy and colic/reflux etc, I started leaving him with his grandparents whilst I go for a run and workout. Consider this as my therapy sessions. A bit of time for me to concentrate on myself, and release stress tension so every minute I have with Kobi can be happy ones, rather than stressy. Now in November 2015, I am 67kg. But I am still all flab and wobbles.
I want Kobi to grow up and be proud of his mum, and not embarrassed that I could be a fat lump of lard. I want to be able to run around with him and not get out of breath so easily. I want him to be proud that his mum is strong and trim. I have so much work to do to achieve what I want, but I wont give up. Come rain, sleet or snow I will continue to run and workout and will upload pictures to prove it 🙂 I have a long journey ahead of me – but I’m working to get there which is more than some others xx