Me before Kobi: No adamantly NO I’m not going to breastfeed at all, 100% no! I’m not having my baby glued to me all the time! I need me time!
Me when Kobi was here: Breastfeed openly, where ever I was, until he was 18mnths lol hahaha! Oh how things change when baby is here.
As soon as Kobi was born, they placed him on my chest, and he found his way. He knew exactly what to do and has never wanted anything else. He was definitely a boob boy! Even writing this brings a huge smile to my face and I’d do anything to go back to that exact moment of bliss.
Don’t get me wrong there were a lot of low moments along the way, but equally a lot of happy cherished moments too.
I had a lot of low points where I couldn’t cope with the 2hrly feeds. And in the early days it would be more frequent. I remember being absolutely exhausted and wanting to just run away like Forest, run. I felt like I had no break. My body was no longer mine. I was the one that was needed all of the time whilst hubby could have a break. No matter if I was ill or my back was in agony, I had to get up and feed. I cried a lot, mainly from exhaustion, I just didn’t want to do it anymore and saw no light.
As he grew it started to get easier, and once he was on solids it started to get even easier. There was finally some light at the end.
Then randomly one Friday night I drank a weeee bit too much and crashed out by 10pm hubby then saw to Kobi all night and that was it. No more booby from that day onwards. The next day hubby put Kobi to sleep again and Kobi cried for me for all of 3 minutes and that was it. No turning back.
I didn’t think stopping nursing would affect me emotionally, but it did. I felt really sad all weekend. Like I was no longer needed (I know that’s crap as I will always be needed but it didn’t stop me feeling sad) We had hit another landmark in Kobi’s development.
Looking back now I would definitely have done it the same way. Breastfeeding for me, worked. It gave me closeness to Kobi. We had our special quiet moments where I could just stare at him and felt connected. It was easy when we were out and about to whip out my boob He got what he wanted quickly and he loved it! And the days that I missed him when he slept, I knew I didn’t have to wait long for a cuddle cos he’d be up again soon and mumma loves Kobi cuddles